I’ve been thinking a lot about ways to feel good about myself again and about what it would take for me to look in the mirror and like what I see, after probably a year of hating my reflection (and longer than that if you count each of my postpartum phases). I think we all look at ourselves sometimes and see our flaws instead of our beauty. I know I even did it to myself before I had children. But other times I could look at myself and appreciate what I saw and like myself. Since becoming a mother, I haven’t been able to feel that way very often. (I shared a bit about these feelings and my struggle here if you want to read more). While I’ve become more judgmental and critical of myself (and I’m working on this) I have become less judgmental about the things we can do to make ourselves feel happy and confident. I truly believe that whatever makes you feel good, happy, and more like “you” is a good thing — as long as you are doing it for you and not anyone else. Read More
So the last time I wore a swimsuit, I was pregnant with Quincy. That was two summers ago. Last summer I was 5 months postpartum and pretty forgiving of the fact that I wasn’t in “swimsuit shape” (which really just means I’m not confident and comfortable in a swimsuit — not because I think that you have to be a certain size to wear a swimsuit). “Next summer” I thought at the time. Well, now we’re at next summer and guess what? I’m still not feeling good about myself. Read More
Want to know one universal truth about motherhood? We all, and I mean ALL, doubt ourselves sometimes. I think it is pretty normal and natural to doubt ourselves a lot when we first become mothers. I mean, you go from being a person who is only has to care for yourself to a person whose every need is reliant on you 24/7 for, like ever. And it is a job you’ve never done before (even if you have had siblings or nieces and nephews or dogs that you’ve cared for — it is so not the same thing when you’ve become a mother), comes with no “orientation period” or instruction manual, and you have to start it when you are your most exhausted.
I think another really tough aspect of being a mother is seeing other mothers do what you are doing, day in and day out, and seemingly easily. No matter who you are or how long you’ve been a mother or how many kids you have, you know another mother who has more kids or tougher circumstances that seems to be doing it better. “She is always dressed. Her kids behave in public. Her house is clean. She actually looks happy!” And you wonder — how does she do it? Why can’t I? What is wrong with me? It isn’t just the new moms that feel this way either — I still do sometimes. And I’m three kids and almost 7 years in. Read More
Dear Partner of the Woman Who Might Not Seem Like The Same Person Since She Had a Baby:
I know how confusing it must be for you at this time — to be navigating the world of new parenthood, deep in sleep deprivation and feelings of both extreme joy and overwhelming exhaustion. I know it must be a bit scary to look at the woman who gave birth to that new baby — a woman you thought you knew really well but suddenly don’t recognize. Not because she looks different than she used to (although she likely has changed in that way too). But more than that, she acts differently. She treats you differently. She might cry a lot. She might rip your head off. She might not act like she wants you around while also letting you know she wants you close by. She might be critical and picky and controlling. She might lose her shit over spilled milk, especially if it is breastmilk. You might say something you find to be quite benign or even kind, and it will set her off. You might think she’s a bitch. You might try to fight her on these things. You might feel it necessary to tell her to “relax” or remind her that the things that seem to upset or overwhelm her “aren’t a big deal” or “aren’t worth getting so upset over.” But before you do that, I want to tell you something. And if you are really open to hearing it and really love that woman, it will change everything. Are you ready?Read More
So you take a million family photos with your phone, am I right? And then what happens to them? Usually nothing. You may dump them into a folder on your computer whenever your phone is full and you need to clean it off, but then you never organize, look at, or display those memories. It’s a shame, and definitely one of the downsides to our phones being our primary memory recorder. Yes, it’s super convenient and we have way more photos of our kids now then when you had to dig out the old point-and-shoot or DSLR, but because there are so many we often neglect organizing and actually printing them. So I thought I’d share a few easy tips for keeping your family photos organized so you can access, print, and display them. Read More
Well it took a little longer than we originally planned (that’s life with kids, am I right?) but I’m happy to share Workout 2 in the When You Have 10 Minutes home workout series with Balanced Method Pilates. If you missed the first one, you can find it here. This workout focuses on arms, abs, and posture, although it works other areas as well. And again, it is WAY outside my comfort zone to post photos and videos of me working out — but I think showing you that I can do it with my extra pounds and rolls — makes it more believable that you can do it too. This is me, over a year postpartum and not where I hoped to be (or where I have been after babies 1 + 2). I blame my age, my thyroid issues, the fact that I’m still nursing, Quincy’s colic and reflux, sleep deprivation, and a lot of comfort eating. But I’m so ready to do better, to feel better, and to be better. I can do it, and so can you. So let’s go!Read More