sex on your wedding night | photo by elizabeth messina

{UPDATE} Since this post was originally published, it has gotten VERY popular (some of you are finding this by searching for some very weird things online. I’m not judging, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t what you’re looking for…)

I even appeared on the front page of The Huffington Post, did a chat on HuffPost Live, and was on Glamour Weddings.  You can read all about it here.

Ok, here’s the real deal about sex on your wedding night: almost no one does it!  Shocking, I know.  I’ll never forget when the first of my girlfriends confessed to me that she and her new husband didn’t have sex the night of their wedding.  I couldn’t believe it.  And then I heard it from another friend.  And another.  By then I started to realize it was more than just a fluke – it was the norm. Now I should say that this probably doesn’t apply to those of you waiting to have sex until marriage, but I find that isn’t what most couples do these days. Most of us have been together for a long time, are well into adulthood, and have had sex. If you haven’t, you also probably aren’t interested in this post. But for the rest of you, keep reading.

More than likely, you and your new husband (or wife) are both exhausted, hot & sweaty, drunk, or a combination of the three. By the time you retire to your “honeymoon suite” you’re ready to pass out. But if you really want to have sex on your wedding night, you can do it. I did! Here are a few tips to making it happen.

sex on your wedding night | photo by elizabeth messinaTip 1: Don’t stay out at the wedding after-party with your wedding guests till 5 am.  And don’t get completely wasted.  It’s totally ok to party, stay out till 5 am, and get wasted.  But you won’t have sex.  Pick your fun.

sex on your wedding night | photo by elizabeth messinaTip 2: If you do want to meet up with your guests at an after-party, or stay out late partying, excuse yourself for a bit after the wedding and before you meet up with everyone to get out of your wedding clothes.  While you’re out of them, have sex.  Then go party.  Problem solved.  Oh, and being in a rush to meet up with everyone might make it even hotter…

sex on your wedding night | photo by elizabeth messina

Tip 3:  When you get to your room, take a romantic bath or shower (preferably together).  It will make you feel less disgusting from all of that dancing and drinking and will wake you up a bit. Then slip into that sexy lingerie you bought for your wedding night and get busy.  You might not feel like it at the start, but you’ll be into it pretty soon.  And that lesson is good practice for later, if/when you have kids and you often have to make yourselves have sex when you can, whether you’re into it at that moment or not.

sex on your wedding night | photo by elizabeth messinaTip 4: Be ok with the fact that you might not have sex on your wedding night. It’s not that big of a deal – you have the rest of your lives together. The pressure can take away from the fun. Plus, there’s always morning-after-wedding sex…  And that’s why I don’t believe in organized day-after brunches.

Need some suggestions for great wedding night lingerie?  I love this, this, this, and this.  Oh, and this – for after.

{all photos by Elizabeth Messina originally found here on Munaluchi Bride and here on Wedding Chicks}


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