Happy Friday my lovelies! Today, in addition to my usual weekly wrap up I’ve got a bride in need of some help. I love when brides who read this blog ask for advice, but I thought we should open it up to all of you so she can different suggestions on how to handle this. I hope we can help her, so please leave a comment with a solution suggestion!
But first, in case you missed any of my lovely posts this week:
A new installment of our Behind the Veil feature, with Megan of Glamour and Grace.
A rustic winery wedding with the prettiest bridal shoes you ever did see!
To first look, or not to first look, that is the question…
A retro Americana e-session.
And check out my posts on One Wed this week:
Nice day for a white wedding, or a green, yellow, blue, or black wedding?
Modern and vintage? Yes, you can be both!
Now it’s time for our weekly installment ooooooooooof: Practical Ryan Gosling!
And finally, our reader question, which comes to us from Brea:
I really need help! Okay, so I’m planning my wedding and just started my guest list and need advice! Were having a super small wedding, close family and friends, so around 45 people and I need input on what to do with my dad’s mom and her creepy husband?! I haven’t seen them in at least 5 years the (only contact has been when they sent me a small congratulations email when I had my daughter 3 months ago), they are extremely rude to my mom and they just make me supremely uncomfortable. The problem I’m having is, is it ok to not invite them to the wedding? I’m inviting my mom’s mom and dad and my father’s dad and his wife, so is not inviting them rude?? My father got upset when I told him I had no plans of inviting them but I stood my ground and said no way and now I’m second guessing if this is right even though it is my fiancé and I’s day and this is what we want. Thanks for all the help!!
Brea, here are my thoughts: Why are they rude and creepy? Have they done something specific to you or your mom that they could understand would be the reason they aren’t invited? Do they live nearby? Would they even attend your wedding if you did invite them? These are things to ask yourself when deciding whether or not to invite them. If you know they wouldn’t come, why not invite them just to make your dad happy? But if you think they would come and would make you or your mom extremely uncomfortable or cause a scene, then I think it is ok not to invite them, especially if you really never talk to them and aren’t at all close. And you are right, it is your and your hubby-to be’s day, BUT you need to remember that it is also your parents’ day in a way and if you don’t really have a good reason not to invite them and it would really mean something to your dad if you did, maybe you should reconsider.
Ok lovely readers, what do you think? Can you give Brea some advice? Thoughts. Help a sister out! And Brea, feel free to add some details in the comments. Good luck!
xx
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Thank you so much for that advice! I hadn’t fully thought of it in those ways at all! Me and my fiancé will definitley talk through your advice! A few moe details are They’re just rude because they always have to say be extremely snide about the way I dress and live my life and her husband is just wayyyy to touchy and makes me super uncomfortable in that sense.. They don’t live here though, the actually live in missouri and I Live in California which means it’ll be hard for them to come out even if I do invite them but they made it out for my cousins wedding so I just don’t even know if i Should take the chance? I’ve tried to explain these things to my dad but since me and him aren’t super close and never really talk and he doesn’t seem to listen. I hope some of these extra little details shed some more light on my situation and Thanks again for all the help 🙂
I have a fairly similar situation! Don’t want my dad’s mom there, and there’s even a creepy husband involved. I have my thoughts about the situation, but I don’t feel like writing a book in the comments section–if you want to talk about it, send me an email! dearohrachael@gmail.com.
Good luck!
We have a similar situation in our family as well. If you are not close to her and her husband and she is snide to you, don’t invite her and don’t feel bad. Write your father a letter lovingly telling him how she makes you feel throughout the years with examples. Explain that even though she is a part of his life, she never became a part of yours. But that doesn’t change the way you feel about him nor does it reflect on him. Grandparents can be unthinkingly cruel in some cases and it is time parent’s recognize this.
The best and most sure way to solve this problem is to have a destination wedding and then only those that really care will actually attend your wedding and not only will it be a lot more fun but it will also be a lot cheaper for you both.
So no need for explanations-excuses at all.