And here I thought that the most upsetting thing I read yesterday was that Bradley Cooper beat Ryan Gosling as this year’s sexiest man alive (I mean, come ON.  Gosling totally should have won).  Then I read this article on the Huffington Post.

There has been a growing backlash lately within the wedding industry to what some people are calling a “vintage wedding trend.”  See here, here, and here for a taste of what I’m talking about.  Most concerning to me is the Huffington Post article essentially claiming vintage is dead.  Here’s my take, and while it is only my opinion, it is a differing opinion that I think real brides need to hear.

I don’t think brides (at least not most of them) go around to the wedding blogs and see what is “trendy” and then decide to plan their own wedding around it (and the ones that do are an entirely different problem that I’m not addressing here today).  I think brides have their own style and things they love, and they go to blogs for inspiration on how to incorporate those things into their wedding.  A modern-loving bride is not going to wedding blogs and seeing vintage weddings and then stocking up on mason jars.  I mean, come on.  Brides having vintage weddings are vintage-loving brides.  Yeah, vintage has been around for a bit.  Yeah, the wedding details on blogs are a bit similar at times because there are a lot of vintage wedding submissions as of late.  And yeah, vintage wedding details aren’t anything new to wedding industry professionals or bloggers.  But you know what, they are new to that bride who just got engaged and is hitting the wedding blogs for the first time and is seeing vintage weddings that she loves because her grandmother collected mason jars and she wants to use them in her wedding.

To the wedding industry professionals complaining about vintage weddings: if you don’t like vintage weddings, don’t be a part of them.  Your job is to bring to life a bride’s vision and her greatest wishes for her wedding.  It isn’t YOUR wedding.  Are you a blogger who doesn’t like vintage weddings?  Don’t publish them.  Are you a photographer frustrated that a blog rejected your non-vintage wedding?  Submit it to one of the many wedding blogs that focus on other types of weddings.  There is something out there for everyone and every bride.  And there are brides who just love vintage.  Period.  And they should get their vintage wedding and not feel bad about it.

My problem with the Huffington Post article is this (and I’m going to give the writer the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t mean to do this): it makes current brides planning vintage weddings feel bad.  It makes them feel lame.  It makes them feel negative at a time when they should feel good about planning whatever type of wedding they want.  Trendy or not, it is not ok to make people feel bad or judged for their choices or what they love.  Here is a comment I received yesterday on my Facebook page (where we’re having a great discussion on this topic) from a real bride planning a vintage wedding:

I am so relieved to read all these comments! I am planning a vintage wedding and after reading this article a few days ago I was a bit taken aback. I didn’t realize it had been a trend that was possibly wearing itself out! I was not paying attention to wedding trends and had not looked at any wedding blogs before I was engaged. I booked my venue at a small heritage home long before I was aware of vintage as a theme. I chose this heritage home purely based on my love of the venue, its quaintness and charm, not because it fit in with a trend. I agree with Andrea, for some of us vintage is a reflection of our personal style.

I am using antique mason jars (something I have always loved as they remind me of my Nana)… how will I make it through my wedding day knowing that my choice may be seen as following a worn out trend!!! I am using vintage keys, not because they are trendy but because the first decorative item my fiancé and I bought for our apartment 4 years ago was an oversized skeleton key, and he bought me a charm bracelet with a key and a heart with a keyhole, keys have a personal connection for both of us. I am not planning on using a typewriter though, hopefully the author of the article can give me some leeway for that!!!

I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. My comment about the mason jars “how will I be able to make it through my wedding day knowing that my choice may be seen as following a worn out trend” was mostly sarcastic but I will admit that there is some truth to it. When I really think about it though, the 28 guests that will be at my wedding will not be thinking about those things. Those who know me best will only see my personality or my fiancé’s personality, not a trend.
Thank you for posting this and showing that vintage isn’t worn out or a faux pas. Mostly thank you for reminding me that my wedding is a reflection of my style and that I am not wrong in my choices.

Vintage is not dead.  If you love vintage, have a vintage wedding.  If you love mason jars, or skeleton keys, or lace gowns, incorporate them in your wedding with pride and love.  Your wedding is about you and your groom, celebrating your love, doing it your way and in your style, having fun, and your marriage that follows.  It is not about what others think about it, if it is your photographer’s style, or if a wedding blog will want to publish it.  Who cares what other people think anyways?

So brides, don’t listen to anyone but you.  Do what you want and what you love.  Wedding professionals should be fine with that; supportive of it really.  And if they aren’t then they aren’t acting very professionally, in my humble opinion.

From a vintage-loving former bride and wedding blogger who will always publish vintage weddings: Mason jar lovers unite!  Skeleton key lovers unite!  Vintage lovers unite!  Long live vintage!  Because let’s face it, everything, even “classic” is a trend at some point, but those that love it will always love it, trend or not.

{photos by Jennifer Roper via my wedding as seen here}

If you made it through this whole post, then please feel free to express your feelings, opinions, rants, agreements, disagreements, or maybe a comment about how Ryan Gosling was robbed.